Insect Jokes

1) Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley. “I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It’s so sanitary the whole place shines.” “Please,” said the

other roach, frowning. “Not while I’m eating!

2) What’s the last thing that enters a bee’s mind when it hits a car’s window moving at 70 mph?

Its ass

Sport Jokes

1)What tea do footballers drink ?
Penaltea

2)Where do footballers dance?

At a football !

3)How do hens encourage their football teams ?
They egg them on !

Lawyer Jokes

1)Did you hear about the guy on the beach who found a bottle? He rubbed it and, sure enough, out popped a Genie. “I will grant you three wishes,” said the Genie. “But there’s a catch.” “What catch?” he asked. The Genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for.” “Well, I can live with that! No problem!” replied the elated man. “What is your first wish?” asked the Genie. “Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari.” POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. “NOW, every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the Genie. “Next wish?” “I’d LOVE a million dollars…” replied the man. POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. “NOW, every lawyer in the world has TWO MILLION dollars,” said the Genie. “Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got MY million,” replied the man. “What is your final wish?” The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney….”

2)Important Legal Terminology

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law BEFORE the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law AFTER the criminal has been arrested, we call him a defense attorney